open houses are lame but we got through our first one unscathed

We had a broker open house this morning. I think it was somewhat successful. Three agents showed up, one of which brought his clients.

With the last house we sold up in Orygun, we had already moved back down to the SCM but wanted to hold on to it for a while, so it was rented out to some friends. When it came time to sell, our friends were on their way to new adventures and let us know so we could put it on the market, and we were able to show an empty house. (We actually did the entire transaction by fax [this was back in '02] because we didn't want to drive back up there at the time.) Let me tell you, this is about ten thousand times easier than living in a house while selling it. It's impossible to keep a house spotless and tidy and let's-get-this-fucker-sold!-ready at any given time, and it's just weird to have people looking at your shit and being all judgy judgy about it. in my mind anyway

Not that I could hear what they were saying because I was busy wrassling these two monsters on the narrow road up above our house where we were camping out while the open house progressed.

They were actually pretty good for me. Clyde Dog did better than I expected on the leash, considering I haven't taken him for walk since last summer. He's a very submissive dog, despite his size, and is fairly easy to control as long as I don't waiver in my dominance in the least. And when the nosy neighbor came over wondering what was going on, Clyde Dog was very well-behaved, except for maybe getting just a tad of dog hair/slobber on homeboy's black jeans. People always seem to wear black at our house, and I've given up trying to spare them the fur/slobber/love greeting that inevitably destroys their attire. People know what they're getting into when they come over to our place.

Barker was pretty content sitting in the back of the Pathy, but getting him in there is no easy task. Barker is so old that his joints don't really bend anymore. Clyde Dog is so big that he has a hard time figuring out how to actually jump in, resulting in him trying to crawl into the truck instead of just hopping up (in his defense, I suppose it is a lot of weight to move).

This is all a long way of saying that I was completely and wholly disgustingly filthy by the time the open house was over and was finally able to bring them back into the house.

Also, St. Bernards and redwood needles do not mix. He has about a thousand of them sprinkled throughout his tail right now, and removing them is like trying to dislodge gum from hair.

I tell you, this is going to be the last time we ever sell property. We're going to DIE at the holler. Happy and content because third time's a charm when it comes to home buying. Remember that.


p.s. Here's a screenshot of the listing on the MLS. It's trippy to see our house on there! Also, big houses are a nightmare to keep clean and I highly suggest never buying more than 1,200 square feet.

Oh yea, here's a few of my fantastic property images. I'm seriously thinking about offering real estate photography/virtual tour services out in Tennessee because I got that shit dialed, dawg! I made my house look way nicer than it actually is.

living

kitchen

master bath

backyard